February
This month I got to reunite with old friends, revisit some west coast haunts, and in a true act of self-sabotage, break my own heart by checking a crush’s Substack activity. Thankfully the absurdity of catching myself deep in the trenches of someone’s reading log was enough for me to move along, but sometimes you just have to lean into the dramatics.
Book Recommendation: Doppelganger by Naomi Klein
Imagine that you discover someone who shares your name, your interests, and yet, in a cruel twist of fate, they champion the very ideologies you’ve spent your life opposing. What would it feel like to see your identity tangled with theirs, your convictions distorted into something unrecognizable? Doppelganger is about journalist Naomi Klein’s experience of being frequently confused with Naomi Wolf, a once acclaimed feminist writer turned vocal conspiracy theorist. Klein uses this surreal journey to examine a larger cultural phenomenon that she calls “the mirror world”: a place that looks familiar at first but quickly reveals itself to be an uncanny distortion of reality. The mirror world is where language gets repurposed for reactionary causes, where misinformation disguises itself as critical thinking, and where once-trusted voices veer into paranoia. She explores how the idea of doppelgängers, both real and symbolic, reflect deeper cracks in how our world works.
Not seeing ourselves clearly (because we are so busy performing an idealized version of ourselves), not seeing one another clearly (because we are so busy projecting what we cannot bear to see about ourselves onto others), and not seeing the world and the connections among us clearly (because we have partitioned ourselves and blocked our vision). I think this, more than anything else, explains the uncanny feeling of our moment in history — with all of its mirrorings, synthetic selves, and manufactured realities. At bottom, it comes down to who and what we cannot bear to see — in our past, in our present, and in the future racing toward us.
Honourable mentions: We Could Be Rats by Emily Austin, Scrap by Calia Henkel
Movie Recommendation: Monster by Hirokazu Kore-eda
Winner of Best Screenplay at the 2023 Cannes Festival, Monster is a story that reshapes itself with every new perspective. A mother suspects that her son Minato is being bullied by his teacher and demands answers, but as the story rewinds and replays through different eyes, reality begins to emerge. Minato, his teacher, and his quiet friend Yori each offer a perspective that breaks this narrative apart and puts it back together, peeling back layers of misunderstanding, grief, and unspoken connection. Like this review on Letterboxd pointed out, it’s a perfect mix of Thomas Vinterberg’s The Hunt and Lukas Dhont’s Close. At its core, Monster explores how the truth can shift depending where you’re standing.
Honourable mentions: The Monkey by Osgood Perkins, I Saw the TV Glow by Jane Schoenbrun, Perfect Days by Wim Wenders
Music Recommendation: Hive Mind by The Internet
2019 is one of my most memorable years; I made huge life changes, every single one for the better. It’s also when I first listened to The Internet’s Hive Mind, and somehow the album became the soundtrack to my new adventures. Listening to it now reminds me of living out my 20s in ways I had previously only imagined. There’s an undeniable breeziness to The Internet’s sound — The New York Times noted that “even where the drums are looped, the bass lines often drag and pull against the beat, breaking away from vamps to improvise and loosen things up; vocals arrive wherever they want, teasing expectations”. Leader singer Syd’s voice drapes over each track like velvet, equal parts intimate and hypnotic, while Steve Lacy (then still emerging as a solo artist) elevates the album with his signature guitar work. My favourites are “Hold On” and “It Gets Better (With Time)”.
Honourable mentions: Goose Bumps by Boyscott, A Rush of Blood to the Head by Coldplay, good kid, m.A.A.d city by Kendrick Lamar
Other Favourites:
I’ve been looking up old director’s commentary videos, like this one from Gone Girl where David Fincher talks about how difficult Ben Affleck was to work with in a scene where he refused to wear a New York Yankees hat because of his Boston roots — please bring back petty behind-the-scenes drama in this format!
Mina Le on YouTube and Substack, a pop culture and fashion history focused creator who blends sharp analysis with a dreamy aesthetic — I loved her most recent video “why is social media not fun anymore?”
This few weeks stretch where we have season 8 of Love is Blind, season 3 of The White Lotus, and season 2 of Severance all at once
Chickpea salad sandwiches, which have made me excited to pack a lunch again
Learning financial literacy!!! At the end of January I bought this brilliant template off Etsy, and the interest in budgeting that I had been waiting my entire life for finally began (with the support by a few good friends turned accountability buddies)
This Luca Guadagnino interview from the Konbini Vidéo Club series, featuring my new favourite quote:
Happy March,
Sab